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Writer's pictureCaleb Stair

Overcoming the Fear of Judgment: How I Finally Finished Writing My First Book

Updated: Apr 12


Do you know how many times I sat down to write something over the years? How many times I pulled out a notebook and jotted down an idea, or began to type on a word document, or tap something together in my phone?


Too many to count.


But that's the whole aspect of being a writer. You dream. You create. Anything your mind comes up with, you put down to see what sticks. If something does click, you keep going. Characters are created, plots begin to weave across the pages, and suddenly there's more than just a page. This all totally comes to everyone easy and it can just happen.


Right?


Wrong. It took me years of trying. In the beginning, I couldn't do it. I saw the goal of writing a book and tried my absolute best to complete it. And I always fell short. I could never figure out why and would subject myself to the grind again, over and over. Nothing ever was completed.


I began to think, maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I'm not supposed to do this. From college I went and focused on my career, my wife, and raising my family. Years went by. And one day, still filled with ambitious thoughts, I jotted something down while playing on the floor with legos along with my children. I didn't think anything of it and continued with my day.


That night, I had my greatest revolution. I suddenly knew why I struggled so often with writing. The notion that prevented me from continuing was not of a lack of characters or plot. It wasn't from a lack of world-building or dialogue.


It was me. I was holding myself back because I was worried about what others would think.


I'll admit, if you ever want to enter an era of not really caring what others think, have kids. You start to just focus on them and it changes you completely. But that's what clicked for me. I had cared so much before on what I wrote that it stopped me entirely from continuing. Now, with a completely different thought process, maybe I could try again.


So I did. And truth be told, I wrote a book. My first book. In three and a half months.


Is it good? The author would say so, but that book will probably never see the light of day. And that's completely fine. Because through that book, I achieved my dream. I wrote a book. Even better, I knew how to set myself up to write and finish a project. Lessons were learned through querying, readers gave their comments on the story, I poured over books I owned and read on the road while I traveled. From those, I gained experience. Valuable experience that I could use for my next book.


While I may be a debut author still looking to publish his first novel in some capacity, I can at least tell you this: don't overthink things. Don't worry about what others will read or what they will say. This is your book. Write about what you love. Create a story about a character or characters you truly enjoy. Once you find your groove, you'll be surprised at what you can do. I know I certainly surprised myself.

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